Gists in Nigeria

It wasn't up to three months when the who-is-who in Nollywood honoured actor Ashley Nwosu, who died. Just last month, actress Christy Essien-Igbokwe died. Now, another actor has gone.
Sam Loco Efe was not just an ordinary actor. He was brilliant, he was professional, he was funny, he was candid. He was everything, even if he never left the green bottles.
It is hard to accept he was never Igbo. As one who grew up in Abakaliki, he spoke the language fluently. He was always smiling. Nollywood would surely miss him. That is sure.

The much talked about August wedding of arguably Africa's most controversial actress, Mercy Johnson, is in great danger of collapsing. This is as a result of information that her 'prince charming' is actually a married man, with kids.
A certain lady wrote a blogger, who published her letter and wedding picture, and also their two kids. She actually appealed to Mercy to leave her husband. Alleging to have gotten married to the man in Italy, she sounded bitter.
Mercy therefore tows the path of Ini Edo and Oge Okoye, both alleged to have married other people's husbands.
One thing is striking. When this came out, I expected Mercy to deny it outrightly. I was left disappointed. From her response, it was clear something was amiss. She promised to go on with the marriage, despite ''forces'' against her.
I don't get it with some of these girls called Nigerian actresses. Why eat with both hands, when you can use just one?

Could it be true? Maybe. Maybe not. If actress Nkiru Sylvanus is dating governor Rochas Okorocha, it surely wouldn't be new. After all, Ini Edo has been linked with Dimeji Bankole and Mercy Johnson with governor Adams Oshiomole. What would be unfair is when the news has no substance.
So far, the only proofs are Nkiru's appointment as Face of Hope for Rochas foundation, after beating off challenges from the likes of Bob-Manuel Udokwu, and her recent appointment as Special assistant to governor Rochas, despite being from Abia state; proofs without substance.
First, she is big and popular enough to beat other celebrities to a particular appointment. Then again, she mustn't date Rochas to be given a political post. A lot of movie practitioners have been involved in politics lately. Or, if we apply such logic, then Hilda Dokubo must have dated Peter Odili and those female nollywood glo ambassadors should be dating Mike Adenuga.
You could say I talk because I like Rochas, or because Nkiru and I are from same state. Maybe. But there are still no proofs. And if there were, they hold no water. And even if they were actually dating, what next?

Well, it is no more news that pretty Rivers State-born actress broke up with her husband Segun Dejo-Richards, in a union that produced an equally pretty girl. That was way back. It is also not news she's single and probably searching again. Again, even people living in the remotest part of Sokoto (with all due respect) know that Dejo-Richards has moved on, and is even married again. This never happened until he made sure Rita Dominic and Genevieve Nnaji never saw eye-to-eye with Monalisa. That is in the past, anyway.
With the recent unfortunate and highly unwanted alleged murder of Titilayo Oyakhire by her husband Kolade Arowolo, however, the issue of domestic violence has come up again, and Monalisa has got the chance to delve on a topic she seems to love most (since her break-up, she has talked about it million times).
She would have been killed like Titi had she remained in her marriage. Her husband beat her non-stop for five years, even while on set I add, that she became a ''wounded lion". She is happy now, since nobody would beat her again. She is happy she has her kid Tamarlily (abi na Tarima or Tamariya ) to take care of.
Excellent for her, but why do I think she wants to blame only her husband for their divorce? Surely, she must have told Dejo one thing or the other sometimes, to warrant the slaps she usually got. That is never to say she can't be such a 'cute saint', but I just don't buy that.
Well, that is never my problem. Where I seem to have problem is that Mona hasn't realised the reading public are tired of her 'pathetic' story. In fact, she seems to create an image of all men being wife-beaters. Using the Arowolo incident to push her claim is unfortunate.
Make no mistakes, Mona is one actress I cherish, but she's beginning to bore me...us!

Okay, I ran into one of the stupidest and dumbest nollywood stories so far. Despite Oge Okoye insisting she had no problem with Ini Edo, contrary to what people say, and Chioma Toplis, contrary to what Chioma says, people seem not to let her be. What is the latest?
According to the idle writer, Ini Edo accused Oge Okoye, her former (?) closest friend, who is also married, of trying to snatch her husband. They exchanged words, and subsequently engaged themselves in fisticuffs.
No problem. But I ask, what for? Isn't Oge married also? And what on earth would the snatching issue be for? While not dismissing such rumours, my hunch, which always proves right, tells me this is one of the worst lies ever told. They may no more be friends. But fight? I doubt so.
I think people should leave Oge alone. She has a family to cater for. Writing bad things about her would always affect her family. I think it's time actors and their life stories are not twisted the wrong way anymore. Just the way it is with ladies out there, two people could quarrel once in a while. Oge and Ini's shouldn't be any exception.

They have started again. They called her a kleptomaniac, then a lesbian, then sugar-daddies' patroniser, and more. Yet she has remained dignified. Now they circulate a nude picture they allege belongs to her. Her response? Always as brillian and dignified as ever
''This is to assure my numerous concerned friends, fans and family that the picture is not mine, a look at the devilish pictures shows a tripod light and if you look closely, you will see the only part of the picture that is blunt are what is suppose to be her face, if you ask those who have seen my body they will tell you I do not have a single tattoo but just a birth mark.
''We leave whoever is not busy and has been sending these pictures around to their conscience while I concentrate on building my career and business which is doing well now''
Well said, Empress. I must admit I love this girl. I have not seen a single bad thing she has ever done(well, except dating Timaya, which she regrets, anyway). I advise they leave her alone to live her life.

It was an emotional farewell for respected actor Ashley Nwosu in his Ikwuano, Umuahia hometown. He must be smiling wherever he is. His family must be grateful to Nollywood for making such contribution. A lot of them were there. His wife once admitted being surprised at the support she had gotten. After all, her husband never had much friends.
But that is one of the things nollywood practitioners have done well. They never abandon their own. It does not matter how close they are to you. They always rejoice with you in your days of joy, and support you in your time of sorrow.
That is a bond that puts Nollywood together. Even gossips, blackmails, quarrels, waywardness and jealousy haven't managed to stop that.

There's yet another trend in Nollywood that the practitioners have to take note of. Actors are usually given particular roles. Pete Edochie must be an Igwe. Olu Jacobs must also be an Igwe. Patience Ozokwor and Camilla Mberekpe must be wicked mothers-in-law. Ngozi Ezeonu must be the suffering widow. Chioma Chukwuka must be a well-behaved, but suffering daughter-in-law. Gentle Jack must be a bodyguard. Jim Iyke has to be a tout. Tonto Dikeh must be a bitch. Ramsey Nouah, Emeka Ike and Van Vicker must be lover-boys. The list is endless. So whichever movie we see the posters, we could easily tell the story. As long as we identify the actors and what they usually play, then seeing the movie would be a waste of time.
While it cannot be seen as a disaster, the danger is that viewers get tired all too soon, since the characters could be easily predicted.
In fact, Chioma Chukwuka could easily act a bad role. What she did in a reality show, where she insulted every living soul, gives us that clue. Camilla Mberekpe and Patience Ozokwor would 'cry' well in movies. But who would give them such roles?
While in school, in the Drama group, I always acted roles where I would talk and talk and get arrogant. Once, our patroness said,
"I know you could act quiet. I've seen that in you. That would be your next role."
Everyone was shocked, but I did it and it was perfect.
Nollywood has that objective to fulfil. It is a responsibility they owe the viewers. That way, our movies would get a bit unpredictable. I think so.

Before Genevieve Nnaji, Omotola Jolade-Ekeinde and, to an extent, Patience Ozokwor, there was. As a matter of fact, nobody has touched lives the way she has(or had) done. She is pretty. She is ageless. She is respected. She is a mother. She is a daughter. She epitomizes the industry. I mean Liz Benson.
My mother once asked me, ''Where is Liz Benson? I don't see her in the movies anymore. Could you 'google her' and find out what she's up to?''
I didn't need to. They say she is now born again and married to a Bishop. And so? Is that enough to stop her from doing what she does best?
While that question would be answered by her alone, we feel she needs to return to the industry. She needs it, the way it needs her. Marriage or 'born-again' isn't enough to make her go. She has gathered a lot of fans, who so far could be termed long-suffering. In a recent survey on the actor most Nigerians would love to see again, she topped the list with more than 50 per cent!
I just don't get it. Any actor that claims being born again leaves the industry. Does it mean those still in the industry aren't? Edyth Jayne Ayalogu(nee Azuh) left the movies, despite calls for her not to, because she had repented.
Now, we appeal to Liz. She has to come back. Reason, to help change the face of the industry. And wouldn't it be a sin if she made people unhappy, when in actual fact she could make them joyous? The industry has to be her ministry. She could use it to make impact in the lives of many...as long as she returns.

The last time I saw a Nollywood movie, my palate was left with a sour taste.
We always criticise the storyline of the local home videos, but we do not notice that we also have very bad role interpreters, who ordinarily wouldn't appear in Secondary School stage dramas in even Sokoto State.
I always read about a certain Chioma Toplis, for example. She always boasted and quarrelled with people every minute of the day. Yet when I saw her lately in a movie, it was like 'bloody hell'. Even my illiterate great-grand mother in the grave would have done better. I ask, is it that directors don't recognise a repulsive role interpreter when they see one, or do they just use them for the sake of 'just completing the cast? Sadly, this is why we would always live in the shadows of Hollywood and Bollywood, whom we claim to be close to in quality. Even a mad man would have good reason to laugh at that claim, anyway.
A lot is needed to move Nollywood forward. Using good actors would be a salient issue.

No actress in Nigeria divides opinion the way Mercy Johnson does. Unfortunately, not for her acting prowess (the opinion division, I mean), but for her personal life. Some think she's nice, and every bad press she gets is a result of jealousy on  the part of her colleagues. Others think she is just a wayward, uncaring young girl who loves grabbing headlines at every opportunity she gets. She thinks people judge her wrongly, and  should not believe what they read. She once admitted, ''I could be in my house and a journalist would call, saying I was seen in a particular place...even when I confirm I was at home, they go ahead to publish what they want...''
Now, she has the chance to stop them, even if a little bit. On August, she revealed, she would get married (she said the same thing last year, and we were left waiting). And I feel this would do her image every good. Her image, in my opinion, is in tatters. Marriage would help her keep hold of what is left of it.
Forgive me for being so poor on writing on Nollywood. But no matter how bad I am, I sure know this young lady, alleged to have called Ngozi Ezeonu names, exchanged words with Patience Ozokwor, used the 'F' word on Mike Ezuruonye, involved in juju scandal with Oge Okoye and Ini Edo, etc, would lead a more mature life, after her wedding.

For a typically patriotic Igbo man,watching DSTV is becoming such a nightmare.Nay,seeing African Magic has become annoying.Not because they don't show any nice and interesting movies. But one very glaring thing is that you have African Magic 'Yoruba and African Magic 'Hausa,devoted to the two of the three majority tribes in Nigeria.The obvious question is,where is African Magic 'Igbo? That is a question we're yet to,and do not expect to,get answers to.But how did it go this bad?
I remember clearly,with due respect to the other tribes,what is today known as Nollywood started with an Igbo producer with Igbo actors bringing out an Igbo movie,Living In Bondage.At the moment,Igbo producers abound and Igbo actors are everywhere.But where are the Igbo movies?
Ngozi Nwosu,one of the stars in Living In Bondage,decried this when she suggested Igbo people in Nollywood were disunited.Uche Jombo once said Yoruba stars were unfriendly.Why wouldn't they be?They have a family,and they are united.You people aren't.I find it harder to take that Hausas have even got together in an industry they came into so late.
One of the Igbo entertainers,I gathered,said African Magic English is for the Igbos. Unbelievable and idiotic!!
A lot of Igbo viewers want Igbo movies back.It even helps teach the kids our language,culture and tradition.I remember,with nostalgia,the likes of Nkem Owoh from Enugu,Amaechi Muonagor from Anambra,Ngozi Nwaneto from Imo and Nnenna Nwabueze from Abia showcasing their various dialects.It helps a lot,at least to know our dialectal differences and how to approach them.
We yearn for the days of Taboo,Evil Passion,Betrayal and Beyond the vow.Let the Igbo producers,especially,come together.I'm sure Igbo actors,even Genevieve Nnaji,would want to take part.It doesn't make sense taking part in Yoruba movies while your culture dies - a case of chasing a rat outside while your house burns...don't call me tribalistic.I'm just being patriotic.

I was on a movie location once(hey,I'm not an actor) and couldn't but notice this rather unfortunate,if not ugly,habit amongst most Nigerian actresses.While relaxing,and I mean when the cameras ain't rolling,they prefer some sticks of cigarette as a favourite pastime.And I couldn't resist the urge of wondering why.
Is it a way of showing they've arrived,or does it give them roles?Maybe it puts them in the mood when the cameras roll?Or must you be a chain smoker to be considered an A-list?But even up and coming actresses do this.
I understand they have cliques.Maybe that is a prerequisite for joining one.
I'm not saying only the guys are permitted to smoke,but our society goes a bit that way.We have no choice but to follow...the same way nudity and pornography is so loved in the western world but frowned at by parents down here

I hate writing about Nollywood stars,if they are really stars,and their issues-trivial issues.If one is not telling lies on how good or popular he or she is,the other is boasting of how he or she is better than the other.You could say they are just needed and also expected in this razzmatazz called fame.Arrant nonsense.For all I care,they are as boring as the movies they take part in.
But in our job,we have no option than to write about them.If not for the sake of writing,then just to fill the empty column on the paper.
Again,another trivial and senseless story has made its way to the fore.Three of nollywood's arguably most controversial actresses Ini Edo,Mercy Johnson and Oge Okoye were recently involved in juju scandal.Either one gave the other two fake juju or two gave the other one,or is it that all gave none fake juju...
This story is as idle as the rumour monger who started it.For one,juju cannot improve or reduce one's talent,neither can it increase or decrease one's beauty.Then again,whoever started it obviously is a bad story teller.The three ladies in question are said not to be close,so I wonder how they could suddenly start doing things together.
Well,as I said earlier,all these stories are just ways of filling empty spaces.They are meaningless,just like Nigerian movies.

This must be a week to forget in Nigeria.After the emergence of president Goodluck Jonathan as the new president again,we felt happy.But that was as far as it went.
We had yet to settle to the fact Super Eagles defender gave up the ghost in far away Russia and that some people who never loved peace went on rampage in Northern Nigeria and maimed innocent citizens like fools they actually are,when we got the news of the unfortunate death of Ashley Nwosu,a very respected nollywood practitioner.
Though I do not know much about this man everyone describe as well-behaved,I'm so sad he would leave when he is needed most. And his pretty wife and daughters would miss him a lot.
He's from Umuahia in Abia State,and that adds to my pain.I have lost a brother...May God grant him eternal rest and prevent further pains on Nigerians.This is surely a week to forget.

She took Nollywood by storm! While others showcased talent,she advertised her body.While others imbibed decency,she embodied recklessness and scandal.While others built and rebuilt their careers,she glorified nudity...and her family supported her.Strange.
But as is always the case,when the wheat are picked,the chaff fall on the wayside.She probably felt showing the world her 'milk factory' was the passport to the peak.Well,even in a corrupt Nigerian system,that seems false.Where is she now?Wherever,as long as not on our TV screens,we don't care.
Good riddance.At least,when we ever decide to see a nollywood movie(would I ever,at the moment?) with our elder ones,we wouldn't fear getting embarrassed by a set of huge breasts!

From arrogant to mad,to downright crazy - Jim Iyke has been described as these,and even worse. However,he just doesn't care.Everybody has been asking when on earth he would get married,as if they knew his age.
Finally,he has decided to do so if,at least,it would shut his critics up.
I may not know him much,and I do not care to(I've seen him on red carpet once or twice),but he has been greatly misunderstood.They call him arrogant.Yes,he is.Troublesome,he also is.But no one can deny his quest for greatness,even if he goes about it so much in a wrong way.He yearns to be noticed.Forgive him.It all comes with the 'effizy'. I remember him saying many years ago that before he had sex with Steph-Nora Okere,his former girlfriend,she always insisted he beat her up.He also has exchanged blows with Emeka Ike.Just call him a 'confident enigma'
However,all these would be forgotten once he settles down with his Jamaican fiancee.Oga Jimmy,if you're reading this,please hasten up and bring her to mamma.Abi you wan 'jonse' us like Mercy Johnson did last year?

November is my best month.Predictably so.First,that was the month my parents got married.That was the month my literary idol Chinua Achebe was born.But most importantly,that was the month I was born.Aside that however,I just am head-over-heels in love with this month.
Lately,March has been added to my favourite month,and 23rd,my best day.The reason is quite simple.That was the month my 'mother aside my mother' was born.
Chinyere Wilfred has always sent butterflies hovering all over me since I noticed her.My parents,siblings and friends cannot stop asking ''when would you stop being a fan of this lady?'', and I have not stopped answering ''never''.
I may not be a fan of Nigerian movies,but I certainly do not miss any movies she features in.A writer once asked if we were related,because I always spoke of her in glowing terms.
I am never ashamed saying it,she makes me happy.Her ever-smiling face impresses me and her cool attitude makes me relax.Sure,hubby is such a lucky man.
So,as she celebrates her birthday today(March 23),I wish the best for her and her kids,who are my good friends.surely,she would spend many more years,and I surely wouldn't get tired of writing this as long as she lives.Happy birthday,big sis!!!!

In late 2002,nollywood,that name given to Nigerian Movie Industry by only-God-Knows-who,lost a soul.That soul so much loved the industry that he so much wanted to be a part of it.That soul so much loved the professionalism that the industry enjoyed,even if to a little extent,that he always wanted to see the movies.Not just that soul,a lot of people wanted so much to identify with it.
However,all of a sudden,things turned awry.It wasn't unexpected anyway.First,some illiterates in Iweka


and Pound Roads respectively,started deciding whom to use and who not to use.With it,quacks invaded the industry.A few wanna-be actresses just needed to be girlfriends to one of the marketers to become stars.It didn't end there.
If it didn't help that piracy was a bane to the growth of the industry,lack of finance was a chief culprit.Half-baked low budget movies were produced and the viewers started losing interest.We knew they were indirectly pointing the gun at their faces.Recent events have proved they actually did pull the trigger.Now,nollywood and its practitioners are being dismissed with a wave of hand.I laugh when I hear a few of them rattle that the industry is the third best after Hollywood and Bollywood! How funny!Or maybe they are right.Afterall the number of movies churned out could outnumber the Nigerian population.Is it not worthy of regret that no Nigerian actor has graduated to Hollywood?Do we think the world do not know?And who on earth is worthy of Hollywood?Genevieve Nnaji,maybe,but not terrible actresses(I choose the female,because in my opinion,they are the guilty ones in this case) who feel they have arrived when they have offered nothing.The likes of Ini Edo,Mercy Johnson and the nude-freak Tonto Dike come to mind here.
Until the practitioners come together and decide to change one or two things,then the future remains regrettably bleak for them.I think they have to borrow a leaf from their counterparts in the music industry.

Fans of that explosive Television sitcom Desperate Housewives,especially the girls, must be wondering what made the daring Edie Brit (played by British actress Nicolette Sheridan) leave the Series. It must be recalled her part was killed off after the fifth season. Not a few people,myself included, were shocked at the way she left.Afterall,she was one actress that added much more than others to the movie and had gathered lots of fans,in my opinion. Some said it was because she had another comedy to shoot for CBS.
Well,that was not the reason. On exactly April 5 2010,the 47-year old Sheridan sued Desperate Housewives creator and producer Marc Cherry and ABS.Her reason? She was assaulted by Cherry and was then sacked from the show,albeit,wrongfully,when she reported the case.She also said other cast members were harassed.
Unfortunately for the embattled Sheridan,the confused and crisis-prone Susan Mayer(played by Teri Hatcher), the perfectionist Bree Van Der Camp/Hodge(Marcia Cross),the difficult Lynette Scavo(Felicity Huffman) and the ambitious Gabrielle Solis(Eva Longoria-Parker) all denied her. So now we know why she left. Who says assault and harassment happen only in Nollywood?