Gists in Nigeria

The speed at which All Progressive Grand Alliance governorship candidate in Imo State,Owelle Rochas Okorocha,is going has been awesome.He is ultimately almost the only name on the lips of all indigenes of the state,and that seems ominous to his chief opponent and incument governor,Chief Ikedi Ohakim.Even as I type this,I can hear people talking about him outside.Yet I am not even close to Imo state,at the moment.
They say people always get reward for every good they do.Never has it been demonstrated like this.The love Imo people have shown to Owelle is so emotional,and we cannot say he does not deserve it.His philanthropy is second to none and his humility speaks volume.
Surely,Ohakim must be worried.He must be wondering what next to do.One of them shouldn't be berating Owelle,who is also a legend in the north,for using president Goodluck Jonathan's picture alongside his,on his poster.Afterall,APGA also endorsed him.In Anambra,Abia and indeed all the states,APGA candidates use his picture.
With the way things are going,a lot of people,myself included,would bet on Owelle being the governor this month.That would be unfortunate on Ohakim.What a pity.He wouldn't have the chance,like his Abia counterpart,to right his many wrongs.But then,whom the cap fits...

We all saw it coming.Even before his appointment,we knew he was the only thing we needed.We tried the locals,and they showed their tactical naivety.We tried the foreigners,and they took advantage of the loopholes in our football house,ate our money,and left us high and dry.
Despite all politics,we got who we wanted.And we are not disappointed,so far!
The worst our football house should do,would be to give him all the support he needs.That seems difficult to do,with the level of corruption in our football house.But it wouldn't hurt them to try.

Nigeria would achieve success,and Siasia is the man to provide that!

When I saw the news,I felt shocked.But,as I always do,I went to check the facts first,before wasting my tears.Thankfully,I did well not to.
We all saw the other side of twitter,that social networking site,when people posted the 'RIP' of Kung-fu master,Jackie Chan.
Well,thank goodness it isn't true.This even proves the 56-year old would live longer.
As for Twitter,it has served a bad purpose this time.Remember an Egyptian named his daughter 'F



acebook' after its contribution to the Egyptian Revolution.Let us see whether Twitter would achieve this purpose.

Recently,in following with his careless statements,the governor of Abia State,said the people of Abia North should vote for the Senatorial candidate,Chief Uche Chukwumerije.His reason,aside that he is contesting against his former political godfather and predecessor,Orji Uzor Kalu,was nothing short of astounding.
No,not because Orji Kalu is not efficient.No,not because Chukwumerije has performed creditably.No,not because Chukwumerije is popular among the people.Rather,because he would be made the senate president.
All my life,I have never seen anyone so careless in statement like our governor.He has been getting lots of flak for that.Rightly so.Does a governor determine who becomes the senate president?Indirectly,that man is campaigning for Orji Kalu,who it must be noted,I do not also support.
But then the devil we know...

Radical man of God,and new political entrant,Pastor Tunde Bakare is a man that fears nobody.A lot of us have a lot of things to say about him.I,for one,have had a lot to say.I must admit I like radicals.
However,what people,even me,have failed to fathom,is what exactly he brings to CPC Presidential hopeful,Muhammadu Buhari.He might have no political structure,and he seems to contradict himself each time he talks,albeit on politics.Recent comments have not stopped me wondering on the latter.
"...even CPC(his supposed party) cannot win this election.All I'm hearing is that 'he(himself)wants to run with Buhari'.I am running a different race".
What race,I asked myself,except the one he is running with Buhari?
"You don't even understand it," he continued,"when the time comes,you will know.May God forgive your ignorance".
Whose ignorance,I wondered again?I particularly cannot make a thing out of his statements and its connection with his political race.Is he not interested,or is he trying to look for a way out of the expectant shame,if his ambition fails?I do not know,but at least I know his statements would do his man,Buhari,no good.
Bakare as a running mate was considered a political flop at the first place.I wonder what this would be considered as.Do you have an idea?

In two weeks,we would have been in April.In two weeks,I would have been blessed further by God.In two weeks,people would be born and old people might unfortunately give up.But,then,in two weeks,freedom would come to Abia,God's own state,the only state in Nigeria mentioned in the Bible,and the only state that has the only village,in Nigeria,mentioned in the dictionary(Item).
Abians would quit the suffering and have fresh air.Abians would quit the complaints and have commendation to give.Abians would quit unemployment and have wealth.Abians would quit thuggery and have decency.Abians would quit tears and have laughter.Abians would quit bad leadership and have effective representation.Abians would quit being objects of mockery and become cynosures of all eyes...in two weeks!!!
No matter how they intimidate opponents and instigate unsuccessful propaganda,no matter how they beg us in the market,in churches


,on the streets,no matter how they give us match-boxes with their pictures on them,no matter how they make noise on their Radios,we would do the right thing.Common-sense would prevail,the people would take back their mandates and the people would celebrate.Watch this space.You would tell me in two weeks, "You are a prophet of joy"

I refused to think of this after my beloved Bayern Munich shot themselves on the foot.They allowed Inter Milan grab victory from the jaws of defeat.Mario Gomez and Thomas Mueller missed chances,as 'Robbery' (Robben and Ribery)contrived to lose,by missing scorable chances.Needless to say,they missed a chance to consolidate on Bundesliga's recent superiority over Serie A.
Having gotten over the disappointent,however,I now have the unenviable task of predicting the winner.
First,I think the game between Manchester United,another beloved team of mine,and Chelsea would go 40-60.For once,Chelsea would be favourites.But they should be quick to realise that Wayne Rooney's 'football girlfriend' Antonio Valencia is back...more goals for Rooney then!
Inter are huge favourites against German outfit Schalke 04,after the Germans sacked Felix Magath for Ralf Ragnick.Even though they have not been doing so well,they already knew they wouldn't do any better than they had done until the season ends.The worst they could do was allow Magath until the season ends.They are in the German cup final too.
If Barcelona fail to beat Ukraine's Sharktar Donesk,it would be the 8th wonder of the world,and change the world calender.That tells how much favourites Barca are.I expect Real Madrid to beat Tottenham Hotspurs,largely due to the Mourinho effect.But they would do better than underrate Spurs.
In my opinion,and no disrespect to Inter or Schalke,I expect the winner of the Man Utd - Chelsea game to wait for Real Madrid in the final.Hey,lightening doesn't strike twice when the 'special one' is involved,so do not expect a repeat of the Barcelona drubbing of Real.
As for the winner,I would shamelessly chicken out of this! May be,you try.

My brother state is in turmoil,and it has to do with politics.The PDP and ACN have been having a field day with fights in first,Ikot-Ekpene and then Uyo,the hometowns of the two respective candidates, Governor Obong Godswill Akpabio and Senator Akpan Udoedeghe.About 20 people have been feared dead and cars burnt. But the most sympathetic of all is what Governor Akpabio revealed,that the ACN 'touts' cut the genitals of about four of his members.
While Obong is a renowned king of exaggeration,of all the governors in the country,we could be forgiven for taking his revelation as a mere joke.But then,if they are true,I fret.The events in Jos make me fear the word 'deja vu'.
127 cars and 147 'keke napeps'(if it ain't an overstatement) could be replaced.Death,while irreplaceable,might be forgotten over time.But cutting of genitals?Ah,that is the mother of all cannibalisms.
What I find annoying,though,is the way our people fight for politicians so stupidly.It is annoying! That annoying!Let's just not put ethnic differences into this.It's just mere idiocy. I just pray our 'exaggeration master' is actually over-hyperbolic!

From arrogant to mad,to downright crazy - Jim Iyke has been described as these,and even worse. However,he just doesn't care.Everybody has been asking when on earth he would get married,as if they knew his age.
Finally,he has decided to do so if,at least,it would shut his critics up.
I may not know him much,and I do not care to(I've seen him on red carpet once or twice),but he has been greatly misunderstood.They call him arrogant.Yes,he is.Troublesome,he also is.But no one can deny his quest for greatness,even if he goes about it so much in a wrong way.He yearns to be noticed.Forgive him.It all comes with the 'effizy'. I remember him saying many years ago that before he had sex with Steph-Nora Okere,his former girlfriend,she always insisted he beat her up.He also has exchanged blows with Emeka Ike.Just call him a 'confident enigma'
However,all these would be forgotten once he settles down with his Jamaican fiancee.Oga Jimmy,if you're reading this,please hasten up and bring her to mamma.Abi you wan 'jonse' us like Mercy Johnson did last year?

November is my best month.Predictably so.First,that was the month my parents got married.That was the month my literary idol Chinua Achebe was born.But most importantly,that was the month I was born.Aside that however,I just am head-over-heels in love with this month.
Lately,March has been added to my favourite month,and 23rd,my best day.The reason is quite simple.That was the month my 'mother aside my mother' was born.
Chinyere Wilfred has always sent butterflies hovering all over me since I noticed her.My parents,siblings and friends cannot stop asking ''when would you stop being a fan of this lady?'', and I have not stopped answering ''never''.
I may not be a fan of Nigerian movies,but I certainly do not miss any movies she features in.A writer once asked if we were related,because I always spoke of her in glowing terms.
I am never ashamed saying it,she makes me happy.Her ever-smiling face impresses me and her cool attitude makes me relax.Sure,hubby is such a lucky man.
So,as she celebrates her birthday today(March 23),I wish the best for her and her kids,who are my good friends.surely,she would spend many more years,and I surely wouldn't get tired of writing this as long as she lives.Happy birthday,big sis!!!!

That politicians in Nigeria think only of their pockets can never be overstated any further.No wonder you see them moving from one camp to the other.Therefore,it was no shock to see Femi Fani-Kayode say one or two things he has been quoted as having said lately.What,however,makes me wonder,is how he could say is so shamelessly.
During Obasanjo's regime,he was the OBJ's public relation tool(no matter how poor),his main man,and the only one whose opinion mattered.It is however a different Fani-Kayode these days.
Recently,he said Obasanjo basically made 'four mistakes' during his tenure.Amongst them were his third term agenda and his treatment of Atiku Abubakar.If my memories are intact,I remember Fani being the arrow-head of the campaign of calumny against the former vice-president.He said all sorts of terrible things against Atiku.He said he regretted it,anyway.But the most laughable of all was comparing himself with the likes of Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala.In education,may be.But in attitude and discipline?Give me a break!

When people achieve success,they show appreciation to the almighty in more ways than one.Some spend time with the needy,a la Julius Agwu.Others help other people learn how to show appreciation.My music idol d'banj comes into this category.Yet again,others show appreciation by self-aggrandizement.Timaya,the self acclaimed Egberi-papa 1 of Bayelsa,comes into this category.
While he could be forgiven,afterall it is never easy for one catapulted so fast from poverty to fame to act normal,it is unforgivable to realise he has no remorse.
Over time,he has spent time broadcasting his wealth,even if they were hugely exaggerated.Fights in night clubs,manhandling of journalists,using his lower region to symbolize what he and his girlfriend did in their privacy while dedicating an award to her,and subsequently beating her up on the open street,only served as a drop of water in the ocean.To him,no other person existed.And,who on earth could afford a Camry 2.2?It was that bad that even his former girlfriend Empress Njamah admitted ''...mum would have died if I married Timaya.''.
While musicians like d'banj mixed entertainment with business acumen,Egberi-papa 1 was busy closing the door on himself.But he never cared.Afterall,to him,no other musician could compete with him in his genre of music.How wrong he was!
Duncan Mighty also had it rough(rumours had it he once worked as a motor park tout in Eleme Junction).But when he came into the music industry,nobody knew.Only his music talked for him.And talk,they did.
Nobody has had it better than Duncan this year.With his album selling as fast as a moving tsunami,he has also managed to settle the small matter of joining(or wanting to join)the Mo'hits Records.With all these,he has remained humble(do not blame his not-so-good looks.Timaya is far worse) and out of the spotlight.Yet the spotlight is looking for him.And Duncan gives glory and expresses appreciation,not to himself,but to God and his fans.I noticed that his track is being used these days on presidential rallies.Recently in Ebonyi state,President Jonathan was so lost in his music that he danced.Even the usually rigid Namadi Sambo couldn't resist a few moves.
As Duncan Mighty continues to wax strong,he knows better than to go the way of Egberi-papa 1.He has,at least,proved that even fame cannot overwhelm the wise,no matter how unexpected!

They are many.Yes,quote me.The special one has them in bulk.Wherever he goes,he packs them in their numbers.Portugal,England,Italy and now Spain...he has them.Okay,let me just talk of the coaches.
In his hometown,while managing Benfica,and then FC Porto,he had various run-ins with Jesualdo Ferreira,a man almost two decades his senior,and who would go on to replace him at Porto.First,he refused to accept him as an Assistant at Benfica,then he compared his precious self with Ferreira, ''One coach is with a 30 year career,the other with three.The one with 30 years has won nothing.The one with three has won a lot...the one with 30 years would be forgotten when he ends his carrer.The one with three could end it right now and he could never be erased from history...story of a donkey who worked for 30 years but never became a horse.''
Over to England,the special one had highly publicised rift with Rafa Benitez,who said in one of his rants, ''He(Mourinho) is best friends with only managers of the teams he beats.'' The special one irked Arsene Wenger so much that Arsene threatened to sue him.Then,in the champions league,he accused Barcelona's Frank Rijkaard of bribing a referee at half time...'when I saw him come out of the referees room,I could not believe it'...and also correctly predicted Rijkaard's starting eleven.He also had one word for former Liverpool and Newcastle manager,Graeme Souness(''where does he coach now?'',the special one asked). Avram Grant also got his own share for replacing him.''Second best in Carling cup...Premier league...in champions league.That's nothing!''. But then,when he left England,he revealed he also had close pals like Alex Ferguson(''he is my best friend in football'',Mourinho admitted), Martin Jol,Sam Allardyce,Harry Redknapp and Alan Pardew.But then,he said,''I would join another club,and come back to kill Chelsea.''. That,he did!
In Italy,he called Luciano Spalletti,then of Roma,a 'prime time champion',who loved being on the television.He called Carlo Ancellotti of Milan an 'enemy' and then quite sympathetically called Claudio Ranieri of Juventus,who he took over from at Chelsea a second best man and ''at nearly 70,has achieved nothing''. Ranieri was 57 then.
Now in Spain,all the managers seem to avoid him.None has said a thing for or against him...well,except Manolo Preciado of Sporting Gijon,who thought Mourinho was a 'punk'.
One thing is sure.The special one makes football so interesting,is a reader's delight and even a friend of the television...an actor may be.As long as he gets his results,he wouldn't mind having more enemies...or so it seems.

This seems a tough question,init?(let me be a bit British).However,we cannot,but ask ourselves this question.The very obvious reason is that we in the country have suffered a lot through bad governance,and so we do not need to take chances this time...well,that is if our votes would count.
Do we need an eloquent president?Well,Chris Okotie thinks so.No wonder he feels Jonathan isn't.
Do we need an intellectual?ACN thinks so.No wonder they have Nuhu Ribadu amongst their ranks.
Do we need a humble president?Why not,asks Ibrahim Shekarau of ANPP.Afterall he still keeps just a house since he became a teacher,and subsequently a governor in Kano.
Do we need a tenacious president?Yes,according to the book of Muhammadu Buhari of CPC.No wonder he stubbornly doesn't wanna let go even after losing in last elections.Did I hear you mention Abraham Lincoln?
Do we need a holy president?Yes,thinks Peter Nwangwu of ADC.He is a Reverend,you know!
Do we need a handsome president?Again,Okotie feels so.No wonder his party is for the FRESH alone!
Do we need a lucky president?Oh yes,Goodluck Jonathan could nod a million times to affirm.The reasons...well,we all know!

But then,the fact remains we need all these qualities,even if one or two are trivial,to bring in the president of our dreams.We are still waiting.Who would it be??

Amazing.The Oyo state governor,Otunba Adebayo Alao-Akala has a record.He is the only clown that is a governor in Nigeria.While the likes of Ikedi Ohakim of Imo and T.A Orji of Abia may have something to say about it,even they would admit that they have been beaten to it(even his facial expression is enough).Afterall,they can't boast of the number of jewelleries he wears at a time,and cannot boast being ex-policemen(whether sacked or resigned)
But on a rather serious note,the governor has been in all forms of controversies since 2007.Most notable of all is declaring LAUTECH as Oyo state property,even when in court with Osun and not caring whose ox is gored.He has even taken time out to say a few damning things to Bola Tinubu,albeit,with tongue in cheek.He has also overseen the worst administration in recent times.The infrastructural decay in the state would only leave his Abia state counterpart in envy.
As the election drew nearer,we all felt he would now do no wrong and curb his comic misdemeanour.But,no.Just yesterday,facts emerged that he was involved in stolen materials like the INEC voters' register in the in 27 local government areas in Oyo! Astonishing!!
What do we do?Ordinarily,he should have all manner of media criticisms,but then he has had enough.Me thinks,all we need do is watch him mess himself up while we laugh at this obvious clown!!

I can't wait for the election to end.First,so that our leaders can use the people's money for things other than campaigns.Then again,so we remove the wheat from the chaff.Also,so our seemingly unending questions would be answered.But most importantly,so we do not hear irritating comments.
First,I am tired of hearing people call 'umbrella' 'umblerra'. I'm tired of people saying 'my people love me', when the people do not.I'm sick and tired of hearing people say 'if you like,vote for him.If you like,do not.He must win'. I'm dead tired of hearing glaring lies and promises we know can never be fulfilled...''I would build an airport in all villages''...What I'm so tired of is hearing people say 'my vote wouldn't count anyway' when it actually would.One vote,we know,can make a whole lot of difference.
However,I can accept to hear all these if the only thing I would hear were ''I would expose you...''
A certain governor told his opponents not to criticize him,or he would expose them.Hmn,so if they were criminals and killers and you knew,you would wait until they insult you,before you say it.Now,i hear my dearest GEJ has said he would expose Nuhu Ribadu and Mohammadu Buhari.Nice,but what's keeping you,sir?Say it at once.Let us know if the people we call clean are actually soiled.Do not threaten.Do it.Or do not say it and keep protecting evil.Simple!

Forget politics,forget elections. The truth is Nigeria is so blessed.
As we enjoy our days,let us spare a thought for those involved in the recent natural disaster in Japan.People actually saw their death.Or the one that happened in New Zealand before it.
Let us have a sober reflection and realise that God has blessed us in this country.Let us take advantage of that and do what is best foir this country.
My idle talk is like water being poured on the rock,huh?Me too!