Gists in Nigeria

Well, every dog has its day, you know. This could be a refreshing change. For once, Arsenal would have to work to be recognised in this season's champions' league group stage. No question about that, Arsene Wenger must be fretting! And David Moyes?

Well... In GROUP A, Manchester United would start the post-Ferguson era with a sticky group stage!! Shakhtar Donetsk is a very dangerous team. But having lost Willian to Anzhi and Chelsea, Fernadinho to Manchester City and Milahahhhak (ok, no shame in my inability to spell the long name) to Borussia Dortmund, maybe they are not the team they used to be. That then means Bayer Leverkusen, who have started so well in the Bundesliga, could pose a greater threat. But what of a very vibrant Real Sociedad? Fact is, if Manchester United do not treat this with the seriousness it deserves, then Moyes could be in trouble. For me, Manchester United and Leverkusen could make it to the next stage.

 In GROUP B, Carlo Ancelotti and his £100 million winger would have to get through Gianluigi Buffon and a compact Juventus team, a task which seems tough. He would also do well to know his former darlings from Turin have a very strong team, ready to pounce. Galatasaray would be waiting on the wings, should any of the two mess up, but Fatih Terim is experienced enough to know it would not be possible. All they have to do is struggle with FC Copenhagen for a place in the Europa League. Real Madrid and Juve to qualify, for me.

In GROUP C, Benfica and Paris St Germain (PSG) must be happy. They can expect to wipe the floor with Olympiakos and Anderlecht. That is a dangerous thing to say, but who cares? PSG and Benfica to make it to the next round, I am sure!

 In GROUP D, FC Hollywood, that German team everyone loves to hate, would not be the centre of attraction. Manchester City would be. For once, they have a relatively easy group. CSKA Moscow and Viktoria Plzen are not teams to set pulses racing. I expect Bayern Munich to top the group, with Man City joining them. That would give everyone the opportunity to praise Manuel Pellegrini for getting City out of the group, and cuss out poor old Roberto Mancini for being bad. But even Mancini's sky blue scarf would tell us they were always in tough groups all year. Bottom-line, Bayern and City to qualify.

Chelsea have 'the happy one' back, and they would surely be happy with the way GROUP E has panned out. They have a tough task, I'm sure Mourinho would say, against an injury-ravaged, badly managed Schalke 04. And he may have a point. If this German team can do away with team gaffer Jens Keller, who does not inspire confidence, then they can give Chelsea a fight. But I cannot see anything but Chelsea topping this group. FC Basel and Steaua Bucuresti make up this mismatch. I expect Chelsea and Schalke to make it. Simple.

 In GROUP F, Arsenal would be in an awkward situation. First, they have always been in easy groups. Then again, they have always qualified without a fight. Well, things have changed. They are in arguably the toughest group in this season's group stage. Marseille of France could be tough. That is the fact. But then Napoli, managed by a rejuvenated Rafa 'rant' Benitez, are dangerous. No wonder a certain Gonzalo Higuain elected to join a dwindling Italian league, and not the gunners. But if Arsenal can beat these teams, then wait for the German juggernauts Borussia Dortmund. They are here, guys. Now Arsenal would have to worry. I can say they are inexperienced here, no kidding. For me, Dortmund could and should make it. Arsenal would battle it out with Benitez and his rants. But if any of these people joke even for a second, FC Marseille would be waiting! That is how tough it is.

In GROUP G, FC Porto have once again been drawn in an easy group. Just like Arsenal, they always are. But wait a minute. Would you call an Atletico Madrid team, with a rampant Diego Costa and David Villa easy? You must be kidding me. And who would say a certain wealthy Russian club, Zenit St Petersbough, which boasts of Brazilian play-to-the-gallery striker, Hulk, is easy?? Now, that means I pity potential whipping boys Austria Vienna. However you look at it, I expect Atleti to qualify. Who joins them, between Porto and Zenit, we would wait to see.

In GROUP H, we see a group that promises a lot but would give so little. FC Barcelona have played AC Milan a thousand times in recent seasons. Now, we are bored of these repetitive tortures. Ajax do not possess the boldness to take advantage while Celtic would just make up the numbers. For me, this is just the weakest group...the most predictable, you may say. Barcelona and Milan to qualify. Let the games begin!

We all thought the ousting of the much-maligned Hosni Mubarak would make Egypt better. How wrong we were. Egypt is fast moving into a state of anarchy, with protests and deadline to the president Mohamed Morsi, by the military, causing fresh fears. This is praying things get better.

If the stories are anything to go by, then ailing music producer has every reason to smile now. Governor Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers state has reportedly donated the sum needed for his treatment. I hope and pray this is true, considering the false stories peddled around on how some of OJB's colleagues gave him millions. I wish him all the best, and may God bless Governor Amaechi, if this story is true

And again, 2nd July is here. It would always be here, and we would always remember it. It would always come and we would always have a sober reflection; we would remember that life is short; that life is borrowed; that everyday we live is a miracle; that we should be thankful; thankful to God. Franklin Agbarakwe, a brother and friend, would never be forgotten. He died a painful death, and we would always feel that pain each time 2nd July comes. He would be missed. But we his friends would live long for him, to always remember him. Continue to rest brother.

Star actress Ngozi Nwosu, who looked all bad when she was about to leave the country for her surgery, is all alive again. God is surely good. This is wishing her the very best.We cannot wait to see her on screen again!

Music icons Tuface Idibia, Don Jazzy and Ruggedman have given financial support to ailing colleague OJB Jezreel who needs the sum of 15 million naira to perform a surgery. Also, messages of support have flooded in for the talented music producer. "OJB Jezreel, you’ve got our support and prayers. We can’t afford to lose you. Thanks peeps for also showing love for a brother," Peter of psquare tweeted. In all these, the support, if not financial but also moral, OJB has received is highly commendable. Surely, he would pull through this. I wish him all the best. You can be part of this. Please no amount is too small. BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER: UBA, Babatunde Okungbowa, 1015075120

I posted an open letter to the unrepentant Judith Opara Mazagwu, aka, Afrocandy, on the blog of my good friend Stella Dimoko Korkus where I advised her to change her ways. Rather than change however, she decided to go ahead and insult me, using 'anonymous' a lot of times. I will advise her for the last time to change her ways. Since I started blogging, I have never criticized any movie star, and I will not. Afrocandy, obviously, is no movie star. Therefore, let it not be said I criticized an actress. No way! I only criticized an attention-seeking lady, who had every right, no matter how fundamentally human, to do so. However, it affected a few people, even if not me. So, I advise she changes her way. It is still not late.

This is sending my belated condolences to Chinedu Ikedieze, aka, Aki, on the burial of his beloved father. May the Lord grant himthe fortitude to bear this loss, Amen. God bless you bro.

Madam, I am going to make it brief, and the reason is simple: you do not deserve wasting time on.

The internet, for the past weeks, has been awash with an embarrassing self-debasement of your own womanhood; something every responsible lady holds dear to; something even ten year old girls recognise should be kept sacred. But I do not blame you.

Fame is a good devil, you know. Just to be known, you have sold your pride for nothing. You have brought disgrace upon your siblings, upon your immediate and extended family, upon your community, upon Imo state, UPON Igboland, upon Nigeria, and even Africa.
You have brought disgrace upon women, and children. I am so sorry for your kids.

 I would not want to be them at the moment. You have forever made them objects of ridicule. Forever, they would be known as those people whose mother invaded an embarrassed nation with her female anatomy. Everyone wants to be popular.

You obviously wanted to be known as a popular actress, but let me quickly reveal to you that you are a horrible actress. Watching you is a torture. The only time I ever saw you on screen, you acted a minor role.
Even then, my aged grandmother still noticed you were terrible. Saying you do not have a single acting talent would amount to committing a grave sin of understatement. Even attending an acting school would not remedy it.

I know you have no shame, else you would have noticed that Cossy Orjiakor, of all people, practically rejected your offer of a porn movie.

That should tell you how bad it is. I pity you. Like a mad man in the market, only your relatives are ashamed.
You say you are in your forties. I think you are arguably older than Ngozi Ezeonu, certainly older than Joyce Kalu, definitely older than Chinyere Wilfred, maybe even older than Patience Ozokwor.

Yet they are doing much better, without showing even a little chunk of their breasts. You have disgraced womanhood, of which my mother is part of.

 For that reason, I am going to use an insulting word on you; one I have never used on anyone since I started writing. You are an IDIOT. Enjoy your popularity. It surely would not last.

Mr Obafaiye Shem may be unknown to a lot of Nigerians, but surely the NSCDC commandant who performed the blunder in the now ill-fated interview he granted Channels Television cannot be forgotten. While the 'oga at the top' issue may have died down, the man in question has not just been suspended, but has been subsequently replaced by someoine else. My problem is, what difference does it make? You may choose to dislike the eccentric Charlie boy, but you surelycannot forget his ability to speak what he feels is the truth. He was spot on when he criticized Nigerians for making fun of the man. Not because the man was correct, but because we have not thought of whatcould be done to make things better. That said, I do not seeany difference his replacement Mr Adesuyi Clement could make. He might be aware of the NSCDC website, but that does not mean he would know his job. Mr Shem, for all his faults, could still be a dedicated and hardworking man. We have not bothered to find out how the 'oga at the top' operates. It could still be NSCDC has multiple website. It could still be the 'oga' wants to be the only one to reveal the site. Heck, it could be a lot of things. But Nigerians are so impatient they do not go further to know why certain things happen. Sure, they like making jokes with people and forget what next follows. Maybe Mr Shem's removal is for the best, but the 'oga' at NSCDC remains untouchable. I can guarantee you there are lots of terrible people here. I can list about 15 state governors worse than Mr She, in 10 seconds!! It is time for change!

It was almost as if he knew. The day everyone - those who believe, trust and love him – dreaded finally arrived. And it was a shock. The high number of tributes from eminent Nigerians to the most popular literary icon in Nigeria, Chinua Albert Achebe, is a clear testament to the fact he was well revered, not just in the literary community, but everywhere. It felt like yesterday when what would turn out to be his last published work on earth, but by no means the last he must have written, generated public commendation and condemnation in equal measure. What makes a work great is how people agree and disagree with it. On account of that, we could boldly conclude his last work, ‘There Was A Country’ was great. On my birthday on November 17, just a day after his birthday, someone sent me a message, “Happy birthday to the Chinua Achebe of our time”. I have not lost that message ever since. My desperation to be associated with him, my tenacity to get close to his level, my unrepentant and shameless allegiance to him and indeed my obdurate love for all his works has never left me. I remember one of the Old Boys’ homecoming at the prestigious Government College Umuahia. There, even as a student in JSS3, I had already started priding myself as Achebe’s protégé. Lots of eminent Nigerians who attended this citadel of learning were there. I waited and waited to see him arrive. My wait was to turn out in vain; the homecoming, a personal disappointment. That Achebe touched the lives of many with his pen would be stating the obvious. He was bold. He was strong. He was courageous. He was blunt. He was fearless. He was thorough. His dream of seeing Nigeria great always took an emotional dimension. “I’m just devastated”, another respected Nigerian writer Wole Soyinka stated. He may have been devastated at the death of Achebe, but he would be more devastated that an instrument of collective change has gone. While mourning, we are consoled by the fact he has lived his life, has contributed his quota and has left Nigerians with much more hope than before. Now, we know the fight for the redemption of this country should be collective. Now, we know where to start from and why that fight should even be waged. “It is for the sake of the future of Nigeria, for our children and grandchildren, that I feel it is important to tell Nigeria’s story, Biafra’s story, our story, my story,” he said, in the introductory part of his now-controversial ‘There Was A Country’. The timing of that story, as it has turned out, couldn’t have been better. Rest In Peace Chinua Achebe! I am eternally proud to be associated with you. Now, the time has come to follow your footsteps. Where it leads, we are sure, would never be regretted.